![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Meanwhile Somewhere...
Crossover crack fic makes everything better.
Meanwhile somewhere off the mortal coil…
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
meddow
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers!
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks and James Norrington play snap. Because what else are you going to do when you're dead?
Author’s Notes: Notice how I've now lost two favourite characters in two months? Though there is always a silver lining – death makes crossovers so much easier. Probably not funny, but I had fun writing it.
“Lost my cousin, lost my mentor and then lost my father,” Tonks announced as she placed down a card.
He placed down a card and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Lost my best friend, lost my ship and with it my crew and my commission,” he retorted, dryly. "Wound up a drunken pirate deck-hand to the very man who caused me to lose my ship and crew."
“Well, if we’re going into job then, lost mine. Coup and pregnancy,” she replied, turning over a further card. “I wound up trapped at my mother's while the Ministry ended up with a flat-faced snake-man’s puppet in charge.”
“I see your puppet boss and raise you a tentacle-faced git and a peer with a Napoleon complex.”
“You had Napoleon complexes before you had Napoleon?”
“The Napoleonic Wars were the result of nominative determinism,” he replied, turning over a card as he did.
“SNAP!” they both called and slammed their hands down. James smiled as Tonks removed hers from atop his, leaving him to re-arrange the cards.
She gave a small smile as he placed down a new card. “Dumped at the outbreak of open hostilities, with me on the front line,” she said as she responded.
“Dumped in public, as my prisoner escaped, for a blacksmith, then she proceeded to show up at inconvenient times to smack me unconscious with a bottle or blame me for the death of her father.” He turned over another card.
“Ran out on me while pregnant because he was worried Teddy might be a werewolf. Because the selfish arse decided that it’s so much easier for me to face prejudice and health issues in a time of war if I did so as a single mother,” she said, removing and turning the top card.
“SNAP!” they both called. This time it was Tonks’ turn to grin.
“Killed by my aunt, I think.” She turned over a card.
“You think?”
“I was busy, I didn’t really notice,” she protested, as he leaned forward and turned over a card. “The protégée of Mad-Eye Moody struck in the fucking back,” she muttered bitterly.
He leaned back and crossed his arm again, looking rather smug. “Run through by a stick.”
She turned over a card. “A stick wielded by a barnacle-faced senile old pirate whose son was the very same blacksmith I was dumped for my fiancée. By the way, whose life I had spared and whose fiancée I had just rescued.”
“Left my son an orphan,” she said as he moved.
“Had my sword stolen by that tentacle-faced git I was talking about earlier.”
She pulled over a card.
“SNAP!”
They both pulled their hands away and James spoke. “So where is your good for nothing husband anyway?”
“Off running around with his dead school mates,” she said as James once again rearranged the cards.
“Do marriage vows really apply after death?” she asked.
He looked up and raised an eyebrow. “The ‘til death do us part’ section does seem to imply that they expire upon death,” he replied.
Tonks grinned. “Because I’ve heard that here you are the Captain of a very big ship.”
He gave her a sly grin. “Admiral, actually.”
Meanwhile somewhere off the mortal coil…
Author:
meddowRating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers!
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks and James Norrington play snap. Because what else are you going to do when you're dead?
Author’s Notes: Notice how I've now lost two favourite characters in two months? Though there is always a silver lining – death makes crossovers so much easier. Probably not funny, but I had fun writing it.
“Lost my cousin, lost my mentor and then lost my father,” Tonks announced as she placed down a card.
He placed down a card and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Lost my best friend, lost my ship and with it my crew and my commission,” he retorted, dryly. "Wound up a drunken pirate deck-hand to the very man who caused me to lose my ship and crew."
“Well, if we’re going into job then, lost mine. Coup and pregnancy,” she replied, turning over a further card. “I wound up trapped at my mother's while the Ministry ended up with a flat-faced snake-man’s puppet in charge.”
“I see your puppet boss and raise you a tentacle-faced git and a peer with a Napoleon complex.”
“You had Napoleon complexes before you had Napoleon?”
“The Napoleonic Wars were the result of nominative determinism,” he replied, turning over a card as he did.
“SNAP!” they both called and slammed their hands down. James smiled as Tonks removed hers from atop his, leaving him to re-arrange the cards.
She gave a small smile as he placed down a new card. “Dumped at the outbreak of open hostilities, with me on the front line,” she said as she responded.
“Dumped in public, as my prisoner escaped, for a blacksmith, then she proceeded to show up at inconvenient times to smack me unconscious with a bottle or blame me for the death of her father.” He turned over another card.
“Ran out on me while pregnant because he was worried Teddy might be a werewolf. Because the selfish arse decided that it’s so much easier for me to face prejudice and health issues in a time of war if I did so as a single mother,” she said, removing and turning the top card.
“SNAP!” they both called. This time it was Tonks’ turn to grin.
“Killed by my aunt, I think.” She turned over a card.
“You think?”
“I was busy, I didn’t really notice,” she protested, as he leaned forward and turned over a card. “The protégée of Mad-Eye Moody struck in the fucking back,” she muttered bitterly.
He leaned back and crossed his arm again, looking rather smug. “Run through by a stick.”
She turned over a card. “A stick wielded by a barnacle-faced senile old pirate whose son was the very same blacksmith I was dumped for my fiancée. By the way, whose life I had spared and whose fiancée I had just rescued.”
“Left my son an orphan,” she said as he moved.
“Had my sword stolen by that tentacle-faced git I was talking about earlier.”
She pulled over a card.
“SNAP!”
They both pulled their hands away and James spoke. “So where is your good for nothing husband anyway?”
“Off running around with his dead school mates,” she said as James once again rearranged the cards.
“Do marriage vows really apply after death?” she asked.
He looked up and raised an eyebrow. “The ‘til death do us part’ section does seem to imply that they expire upon death,” he replied.
Tonks grinned. “Because I’ve heard that here you are the Captain of a very big ship.”
He gave her a sly grin. “Admiral, actually.”