Hostile Takeover
May. 28th, 2006 04:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meddowJust a quick fic I wrote this afternoon. A bit of R/T humour the featuring the Weasley twins. It should be know that I personally hate the idea that Remus is a chocoholic. So while chocolate features in this fic, none of it shall pass the lips of one Remus Lupin.
Hostile Takeover
Author: Meddow
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Tonks takes on the Chocolate Frog Company. All in the name of love, mind.
~*~*~*~
When the announcements came regarding the recipients of Order of Merlin awards in the wake of the Second War, Tonks was of course disgusted that the name ‘Remus Lupin’ was not present on the list despite the much documented work he did for the Order. Even she had managed to get nominated for a Third Class award, despite the as expected under-representation of Aurors on the list. Though Remus took it like, well, Remus.
“I don’t mind. So long as I never have to see another Dark Mark ever again, it was worth it,” he told her. “Besides, I’m getting invited to more dinner parties, which is good enough for me,” he joked.
So despite her qualms, and her better judgement, Tonks remained silent about the subject and did not make an official complaint, not that she had any sway in that area anyway. But when Betty Carlill, an old friend who now worked in Honeydukes, leaked her the list of the Second War edition Chocolate Frog Cards, Tonks decided she had had enough. This was one injustice she was not going to sit by and watch.
She was halfway through her carefully worded letter of complaint before she realised it was useless. Insulting people while trying to remain polite was not her strong suit, if anything she was going to get them to blacklist Remus instead of just ignore him. Then she took another glance at the list and an idea sprung to mind.
~*~*~*~
Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes was bustling with customers as always. Tonks smiled politely at Verity while she asked if the proprietors happened to be in. She quickly regretted visiting during her lunch hour while wearing her robes. The customers were giving her looks like they were expecting her to drag the twins off to Azkaban.
“We didn’t do it,” announced George, putting his hands up in the air while walking into the room.
“At least not that. As for the other thing, yeah I suppose we did it,” continued Fred. Everybody was defiantly staring at her now.
“One day you two will actually incriminate yourselves in front of me. I actually will have to drag you off to Azkaban,” she replied, deadpanning.
“No you wouldn’t, you’d miss us far too much” said Fred.
“I’d miss your mother's invitations for Sunday lunch. You two on the other hand, that depends. I need a favour.”
George raised an eyebrow and Fred grinned deviously. There was only one kind of favour the Weasley twins ever had asked of them. They herded her into the storeroom away from the prying ears of the customers.
“So what would said favour be?” Fred asked.
“Well, it’s not so much a favour as a business proposition.” The smile dropped off Fred’s face. “I want you to help me buy the Chocolate Frog Company.”
It was well known that during the war the Weasley twins managed to become the two richest men in Wizarding Britain. Less well know was that this achievement was despite giving a good percentage of their profits to the Order of the Phoenix and to a charity to help out war orphans.
“What…why?” George asked.
Tonks reached into her pocket and produced the list. “The Chocolate Frog cards are missing Remus from the list.”
“So you want us to buy a company just so you can get your boyfriend on a Chocolate Frog card?” Fred questioned.
“As good a reason as any,” George added. “But, economic realities being what they are…”
“Check out number 34,” she replied.
Fred and George scoured the list. Tonks watched their faces to see their shocked reactions.
“Okay, we're in.”
~*~*~*~
To find Chocolate Frog wrappings scattered around the lounge was not a totally unexpected sight for Remus to come home to after the conversation he had just had with Bill. Tonks was stretched out on the couch, a satisfied grin on her face.
She got up, groaned slightly and made a slightly nauseated expression as she did so. “You didn’t actually eat all that chocolate did you?” he asked.
“Some of it. I ended up putting the rest out the window and setting them free after I started feeling sick,” she replied.
Remus sniggered at the thought of Chocolate Frogs running loose on the lawn. “But look,” she continued, grabbing something he had not noticed off the coffee table.
He turned over the Chocolate Frog card and was shocked to find a picture of himself staring up at him.
Remus John Lupin – born 1959, Defence expert and invaluable member of the Order of the Phoenix. His actions show that society's prejudice against werewolves is based on unfounded and untrue beliefs. Enjoys tea and the occasional good harmless practical joke.
Remus smiled, and felt a tear come to his eye. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with you suddenly purchasing a five percent share in the Chocolate Frog Company would it?”
It was Tonks’ turn to look shocked. “How did you find out?”
“Bill has a big mouth,” he replied.
Tonks sighed. “Well, Dumbledore once said that they could strip away all his awards and honours, but as long as he had his chocolate frog card he would be happy,” Tonks said. “I wanted that for you.”
Some days he could not believe how far she would go to make him smile. He pulled her into a hug noticing she smelt like chocolate. “Thank you,” he whispered.
They pulled apart. “Don’t thank me yet, that’s not the best bit. In a couple of years I can make the money for my investment back by selling this,” she pulled another card out his pocket.
Remus took a look at it.
Dolores Umbridge – Worked tirelessly to draft countless legislative schemes to keep Britain safe from the forces of the Death Eaters. Enjoys kittens and the colour pink.
“It’s going to be a collectors item. Never made it into mass production. Funny that,” she said, grinning slyly.
Hostile Takeover
Author: Meddow
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Tonks takes on the Chocolate Frog Company. All in the name of love, mind.
When the announcements came regarding the recipients of Order of Merlin awards in the wake of the Second War, Tonks was of course disgusted that the name ‘Remus Lupin’ was not present on the list despite the much documented work he did for the Order. Even she had managed to get nominated for a Third Class award, despite the as expected under-representation of Aurors on the list. Though Remus took it like, well, Remus.
“I don’t mind. So long as I never have to see another Dark Mark ever again, it was worth it,” he told her. “Besides, I’m getting invited to more dinner parties, which is good enough for me,” he joked.
So despite her qualms, and her better judgement, Tonks remained silent about the subject and did not make an official complaint, not that she had any sway in that area anyway. But when Betty Carlill, an old friend who now worked in Honeydukes, leaked her the list of the Second War edition Chocolate Frog Cards, Tonks decided she had had enough. This was one injustice she was not going to sit by and watch.
She was halfway through her carefully worded letter of complaint before she realised it was useless. Insulting people while trying to remain polite was not her strong suit, if anything she was going to get them to blacklist Remus instead of just ignore him. Then she took another glance at the list and an idea sprung to mind.
Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes was bustling with customers as always. Tonks smiled politely at Verity while she asked if the proprietors happened to be in. She quickly regretted visiting during her lunch hour while wearing her robes. The customers were giving her looks like they were expecting her to drag the twins off to Azkaban.
“We didn’t do it,” announced George, putting his hands up in the air while walking into the room.
“At least not that. As for the other thing, yeah I suppose we did it,” continued Fred. Everybody was defiantly staring at her now.
“One day you two will actually incriminate yourselves in front of me. I actually will have to drag you off to Azkaban,” she replied, deadpanning.
“No you wouldn’t, you’d miss us far too much” said Fred.
“I’d miss your mother's invitations for Sunday lunch. You two on the other hand, that depends. I need a favour.”
George raised an eyebrow and Fred grinned deviously. There was only one kind of favour the Weasley twins ever had asked of them. They herded her into the storeroom away from the prying ears of the customers.
“So what would said favour be?” Fred asked.
“Well, it’s not so much a favour as a business proposition.” The smile dropped off Fred’s face. “I want you to help me buy the Chocolate Frog Company.”
It was well known that during the war the Weasley twins managed to become the two richest men in Wizarding Britain. Less well know was that this achievement was despite giving a good percentage of their profits to the Order of the Phoenix and to a charity to help out war orphans.
“What…why?” George asked.
Tonks reached into her pocket and produced the list. “The Chocolate Frog cards are missing Remus from the list.”
“So you want us to buy a company just so you can get your boyfriend on a Chocolate Frog card?” Fred questioned.
“As good a reason as any,” George added. “But, economic realities being what they are…”
“Check out number 34,” she replied.
Fred and George scoured the list. Tonks watched their faces to see their shocked reactions.
“Okay, we're in.”
To find Chocolate Frog wrappings scattered around the lounge was not a totally unexpected sight for Remus to come home to after the conversation he had just had with Bill. Tonks was stretched out on the couch, a satisfied grin on her face.
She got up, groaned slightly and made a slightly nauseated expression as she did so. “You didn’t actually eat all that chocolate did you?” he asked.
“Some of it. I ended up putting the rest out the window and setting them free after I started feeling sick,” she replied.
Remus sniggered at the thought of Chocolate Frogs running loose on the lawn. “But look,” she continued, grabbing something he had not noticed off the coffee table.
He turned over the Chocolate Frog card and was shocked to find a picture of himself staring up at him.
Remus John Lupin – born 1959, Defence expert and invaluable member of the Order of the Phoenix. His actions show that society's prejudice against werewolves is based on unfounded and untrue beliefs. Enjoys tea and the occasional good harmless practical joke.
Remus smiled, and felt a tear come to his eye. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with you suddenly purchasing a five percent share in the Chocolate Frog Company would it?”
It was Tonks’ turn to look shocked. “How did you find out?”
“Bill has a big mouth,” he replied.
Tonks sighed. “Well, Dumbledore once said that they could strip away all his awards and honours, but as long as he had his chocolate frog card he would be happy,” Tonks said. “I wanted that for you.”
Some days he could not believe how far she would go to make him smile. He pulled her into a hug noticing she smelt like chocolate. “Thank you,” he whispered.
They pulled apart. “Don’t thank me yet, that’s not the best bit. In a couple of years I can make the money for my investment back by selling this,” she pulled another card out his pocket.
Remus took a look at it.
Dolores Umbridge – Worked tirelessly to draft countless legislative schemes to keep Britain safe from the forces of the Death Eaters. Enjoys kittens and the colour pink.
“It’s going to be a collectors item. Never made it into mass production. Funny that,” she said, grinning slyly.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 04:38 am (UTC)quick grammar note...
Date: 2006-05-28 04:43 am (UTC)Re: quick grammar note...
Date: 2006-05-28 05:02 am (UTC)Thanks dude. I’ve very happy you enjoyed it and you are so amazingly wonderful for pimping it (not that you are not amazing wonderful all the time).
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 06:16 am (UTC)There was only one kind of favour the Weasley twins ever had asked of them.
You mean Tonks, right? But I'm still unsure what that one kind of favor would be...
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 10:57 am (UTC)Oh, that's just excellent -- warm and funny but not saccharine, and all the principals seem completely in character. I particularly liked the twins' first lines as Tonks walks in -- exactly the sort of banter you'd expect from them. And the little last line twist is just great.
I did notice a few typos, listed below -- apologies if they seem nitpicky!
Betty Carlill, and old friend => an old friend?
carefully worded letter of complain => of complaint?
Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes => Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (changed in HBP!)
visiting her lunch hour => visiting during her lunch hour?
your mothers invitations => your mother’s invitations
It was well know that during the war => well known?
Less well know was that achievement was despite => Less well known was that this achievement was despite?
societies prejudice against werewolves => society’s prejudice against werewolves?
to keep the Britain safe => to keep Britain safe?
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Date: 2006-05-28 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-05-29 06:24 am (UTC)this fic is.. cute. Too cute for words. And I want to hug it and squeeze it and let my cat play with it.
True to chars, and in the end, so very romantic.
Thank you for it.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 02:21 pm (UTC)This rocks! It made me smile on a bad day. Everyone should read it!
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